The time to change is now.

Change is hard. But the author of this post makes a valid point about how “in the end, we only have one life, and so the time to start healing and living is today. The time to change is now.”

Personal reflection : Over the past year, I went through a healing process after a toxic relationship. I almost went back to school, I did try different jobs, and met interesting people. Throughout my discovery it has lead me to exactly where I wanted to be and dreamt of being to further my career as a designer. That is moving to Silicon Valley to be apart of creating bigger than me. Such an opportunity fell into my lap, and I know God has a plan for me. Before this, I was unhappy. Very unhappy. I kept blaming others for my circumstances, or making excuses. Today with truth and wisdom, I am taking responsibility and initiative to change my life. To find happiness and chase my dreams that will come true! The power of now!

Reimagine Therapy

That thing you would like to experience someday, why not do it now?

The person you want to be someday, why not start working on being that person now?

The way of life you are putting on hold for when you are older, richer, healthier, less busy, prettier, thinner, why not start living it now?

I have learned that it is a mistake of gigantic proportions when we think that putting life on hold, shielding ourselves from evolving via fear and excuses, is in any way justified. It is a terrible waste of life and life’s opportunities to grow.

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I understand that sometimes we need to acknowledge our circumstances. Life is complicated, and therefore caring for a child, an elderly person, or a sick one may prevent us from doing or being where we would like. Nevertheless, these circumstances have the amazing potential to become selfless acts of love which…

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12 Reasons Why Self-Aware People Actually Have A Harder Time Finding Love — Thought Catalog

Self-aware people commonly fall into the belief that when they are “good enough,” love will find them, and that every withstanding issue they have with themselves is what’s holding them back. They are prone to becoming extremely hyper-critical of themselves, and not letting themselves feel good or enjoy life until they think they’re “fixed.”…

The conventional wisdom is that if you don’t have romantic love, it’s because you don’t love yourself enough yet. This is not untrue. It is almost impossible to have a successful, healthy relationship with anyone when you’re unhappy with yourself.

However, people who absolutely do not love themselves sometimes find their perfect partner, and people who love themselves tremendously sometimes remain single for years.

“Loving yourself” is not the fast ticket to a soulmate that many people think it is. But what’s even more surprising is that people who are self-aware and try to work on themselves often have a harder time finding a significant other than most people would assume. Here, a few of the main reasons why.

1. They forget about timing, and assume that “finding love” is entirely within their control.

In recognizing the amount of power they have in their lives (which is a lot) they falsely assume that they can control when someone enters their lives. They cannot control that – they can only control the quality of the relationship once they do. The time that life leaves them single is time best spent working on themselves; it is not a purgatory that becoming “good” will earn you reward for.

2. They start attracting teachers, not soulmates.

People who are on a journey to awaken themselves start to subconsciously choose partners who exist to expose the dark parts of themselves that need to be healed. This is why it’s confusing that a lot of smart, put together people start picking partners who are objectively wrong for them. It’s not that they want to teach them – but rather, they are calling into their experience someone to help them wake up, not settle down.

3. Their standards skyrocket.

Considering the fact that we gauge the viability of a potential partner based on how we see ourselves, someone who is aware of their inherent worth is not going to settle for just anyone. However, sometimes this leads to them forgetting that people are people and even your soulmate is going to have flaws and issues you’ll have to deal with.

4. They become complacent, and assume that “it will just come.”

Of course there’s a degree of truth to the idea that love will come when it’s meant to. But you’re not going to cross paths with it if you’re hiding away in your apartment and not putting yourself out there whatsoever because you think the love of your life will just come knocking at your door one day. Trusting in the Universe does not mean that you can relinquish any effort on your own behalf.

5. The potential avenues to find love reduce significantly.

People who are self-aware often feel an aversion to meeting someone on an online dating site, or in a bar. There is absolutely nothing wrong with either of these, it’s just that they often express a feeling of disdain for them. (This is usually because people on Tinder and at the bar aren’t looking for the kind of love and companionship that they are – but there are of course exceptions to this.)

6. They’re faster to call it quits.

While in a lot of cases, this is very healthy and important, in others, it results in not actually giving someone a chance. If they identify a trait or behavior and assume will not work, they are more prone to just cutting people off so that they don’t have to deal with all of the potential pain that could come with them. In the end, they sometimes close the avenue of possibility because they think they know better.

7. … And faster to get their hopes up.

Self-aware people get their hopes crushed because, on the other hand, they are also able to identify a potential connection, sometimes with the kind of person who isn’t willing or ready to reciprocate it in return.

8. They think they know the exact kind of person they need. They become too set on who they think their soulmate will be.

Someone who is aware of themselves knows what they would need in a partner to complement them; or at the very least they’ve had enough experience to know what won’t work. Most of the time. The truth is that no matter how awakened you think you are, love never comes how we think it will nor does it usually look the way we think it might.

9. They become martyrs for a love that was never going to work.

Self-aware people know that they have the power to heal their relationships, and try to apply that on end to those that they think have the potential of working out. The problem that arises is that they spend years of their lives devoting their energy to someone who is not willing to match their efforts.

“You were just a blank canvas that I painted my love upon until it was beautiful.”

10. They assume they have to wait until they’re perfect.

Self-aware people commonly fall into the belief that when they are “good enough,” love will find them, and that every withstanding issue they have with themselves is what’s holding them back. They are prone to becoming extremely hyper-critical of themselves, and not letting themselves feel good or enjoy life until they think they’re “fixed.”

11. They are too attached to finding love.

People set out to heal themselves to find other people’s love just as often as they set out to do it because they want to find their own. The reality is that knowing how capable you are of love makes you crave it even more, but sometimes, wanting it too much is exactly what holds you back. When your focus is “I want a partner,” you are consistently putting yourself in the energy of not having one.

12. They assume that a soulmate relationship is something you find, rather than something you build with an (equally willing) partner.

A lot of people who work on themselves are taught that if they do, they will find their soulmate, as though it is the reward that they immediately find in exchange for being a better person. The reality is that even when you do find your perfect match, a lot of hard work and time and effort and tears will have to go into making your relationship thrive. This is unavoidable. You can’t skirt around the edges of pain by trying to find the absolute perfect person. Rather, you have to work on becoming the kind of person who is fearless in the face of building something beautiful, not just sitting on the sidelines until it comes to them.

via 12 Reasons Why Self-Aware People Actually Have A Harder Time Finding Love — Thought Catalog

Gratitude Attitude

Happy Forth of July 2017!

Let’s be happy together!

I want you to write out a list of 10 recent  occasions that made you feel good. Here is  mine:

1. Finding a better job, I am excited to get back to working in a career and following my passion of graphic design and marketing communications with a wireless technology company.

2. Seeing my little niece Valerie right before her 6 month birthday. She’s an angel and a blessing from God.

3. Spending time with my mom, listening to her words of wisdom. Thank goodness for her strength and hard working persistence as a independent woman who has raised 3 children.

4. Eating delicious homemade meals at DeeJay’s house with my niece, mom, sister, brother, Daniel (brother-in-law), and DeeJay too. It was nice to see everyone and see how happy everyone was together. My sister and I had a little selfie photo session. She’s so beautiful.

5. Going to pick up delicious wine with my brother-in-law and him picking out a nice Cabernet Sauvignon with Ben Franklin on the label called The Federalist! I learned he’s quite the intelligent man. I’m glad my sister picked a good husband .

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6.  Driving safely home to see how much my darling cats missed me. It was such a delight to come home to two fur balls who  ate all the food I left out for them (LOL), but displayed adoring affection towards me.

7. Coming to Northern Virginia to see my pops! It’s so nice to spend time with my Dad. He’s so cool and active. I was raised by him, so we had a week of adventures planned.

8. Seeing D.C. for the first time with my Dad. It was both of our first times seeing it. Let me tell ya, I kept joking about seeing the Washington Monument because it’s where Forrest Gump reunited with Jenny in Forrest Gump. Also seeing the Lincoln Memorial’s immense size was breathtaking. It was spectacular.

9. Going hiking on a novice trail in the Shenandoah National Park. It was quite fun! My father and I did approximately 5.5 miles through Piney Branch Trail and the Appalachian Trail (AT). It was awesome to do some up hill and down hill slopes on the AT. We ran into a some through hikers too! Now that was cool! (Through-hikers are people who set out to hike the entire AT which runs from Springer Mountian, Georgia to Mount Katahdin, Maine. It can take approximately 6 months [I would like to do a through-hike one day]).

10. Spending the Fourth of July with my Dad. It’s one of his favorite holidays and it’s nice weather in Virginia. I simply enjoy having a nice brunch with my father, whilst drinking coffee, eating homemade breakfast potatoes (my dad makes them phenomenally well), and drinking out of a Boston Red Sox cup. He is drinking out of a Patriots one.

11. I also happy for my dad to teach me things about the trail, how to read maps, what trailheads are, how read trail markers,  and trail blazes (rectangular colored paint markers on trees).

I am grateful and happy for all of this amazing recent occasions.

Now anyone who is reading this please feel free to stop and do a short list of recent summer events that have made you feel happy, and a short description. Writing is good for the soul, we well as taking time to remember the little things that make you smile!

xo, Kristen

I Want A Golden Retriever

I want a Golden Retriever. I just adore them. My father’s love for Golden Retrievers has grown on me. I adore dogs. I love them. I do. They are so friendly, playful and joyous. Happy to see you when you come home. When you are home they provide companionship. Golden Retrievers are special.

They are cute as pups, snuggly and warm, and originally bred to spend hours with hunters in duck blinds, the Golden Retriever evolved to be very people-oriented. Wants physical contact often as possible, and enjoys to lay at their human’s feet during dinner, as well as follow us room to room to maintain contact.

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Just imagine that kind of delightful admiration from a little furball?

They grow up to be great with people, active, and just simply beautiful. Check out these photos on the internet I’ve found that sincerely capture my heart. What a dream it would be to live in California, with a little Golden Retriever buddy.

(Don’t tell the girls – my cats).

walnut-creek-goldenSource: Walk, Train, Love: Complete Canine Services